main   anime   computers   video games   recreations   words & pictures   features
shop!
Mike's Brain
(Written December 1993 - Lost May 1994 - Recovered and revised May 31, 1995)
This poem was originally written in December of 1993. It was part of my orignal book of poems and sketches, which was stolen when my car was broken into in May of 1994. All my works and illustrations up to that point were in it, and sadly, cannot be recovered.

I was fortunate that I had read this poem over the air on a college radio station (KCSS-FM, broadcasting from CSU Stanislaus, Turlock, CA.) on a friend's radio show. This poem was transcribed from the original version read over the air on December 31, 1994, and recorded to audio tape. It was rewritten with the inclusion of actual feedback from guests in the studio who were listening to my reading (I was calling in from my house to the studio to read the poem). It has some new material, and a new ending, added to the original version.

Sadly, my friend no longer has his show on KCSS, as the powers that be saw fit to kick him off the air... (So much for innovation in college radio... Support your local university/college station, if they're not anal-retentive bastards! ^_^)

Ruby was Angelique Gibbons, a poet/artist from my area, and one of the inspiriations for me to write (Strangely enough, a lot of my inspirations were women I liked, and wanted to be friends with...) - Jed was Jed Alexander, another friend of mine, and a damn good artist/poet, in my humble opinion... ^_^ - Jeff was Jeff Krone, the brother and partner-in-crime of the D.J. and host of the program, Jason Krone, a.k.a. "Doug Graves"...

The poem within a poem was my attempt to emulate Jed Alexander's writing style, based off a particular poem about piggys that I liked...

The lines about the "Quarter for the freak show" and "Say it like you mean it" were in homage to a poem of Angelique's that is forever imprinted in my mind - "Quarter," a poem about her reaction to people who are shocked by her appearance/attitude. The "Mushrooms in my mind" reference was from a sound bite I heard on one of Jason's programs.

I'll try to elaborate on some of my local friends (well, most of them used to be local) elsewhere in my pages in the future.
Beta version 5.31 - last: 1999.11.23 - design by r3... under heavy bombardment...

I turned on my t.v. a month ago,

and I saw the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse:
(Ruby: "Four?  Only Four?")

Alex Trebek,

Pat Sajak,
John Tesh,
and Dick Clark.
They rode across space, via satellite, through the cable
and into the dark corners of my mind.

Ever since then, my life's never been the same.

A long time ago, when I was at work,
(I did tell you I worked, didn't I? Same crappy job, only less hours)
Anyway, Col. Sanders came in to have lunch...

Col. Fucking Sanders!

I couldn't handle the psuedo-surrealism!

(By the way, is it me, or has my hair grown longer?)

Meanwhile, back in the real world--

I narrowly managed to avoid selling my soul to Wal-Mart.
Well, that's not entirely true - I did drop a coin in the Salvation Army pot.
"Hey, here's a quarter for the freak show!"
(What a strange line - I think I've heard that one before!)

But, I didn't buy anything while I was inside - that time.
Someone opened my eyes to the shocking Wal-Mart truth.

I was glad when I left,

It felt kind of like coming home from going to Arkansas.
(Wait!  I've never been to Arkansas!)
I've also never invested in real estate there, but - that's a different story!

I hear the drums now -

I hear the chanting -
I hear the laughter -

(Remember, folks, I originally though this up at a drum circle!)

What's going on here?!
(Ruby: "You're on dope, son!")

It's a drum circle in my mind!
Mushrooms - in my mind!
(This poem sort of mushrooms in my mind.)
I yell, "Stop it!  Stop it, PLEASE!"
(But I don't really want it to stop!)

I'm running out of coffee -
and running out of patience,
and running of time,
and running out of creativity,
and running out of page space - uh-oh!
[Note: Original end of second page was here.  This was intentional.]
and running on and on and on...

A year ago, I rarely drank coffee

Now, it's a vice to me -
It's a vice, but it's not my only vice.
(Ruby: "It's not just coffee, boy, it's LSD!")

Page 3 [Note: From the original "lost" manuscript]

And I'm still pissed off from work,
Well, they say it's better to be pissed off than to be pissed on.

I had a vision last night,

It was a vision of Jed.

Jed had green hair once, last time I saw him, it was blond.

Now I'm not sure what color it is...
He looked at me, and he began to speak...

"So, you think this is a poem,
but it's really a poem within a poem,
A poem that cuts through your grey matter
like an electron laser!
Dissecting the layers of convoluted flesh
And snaking its way down your cerebral cortex...
Y'know, I'm not really a vision of Jed-
I AM YOUR BRAIN!
And I will not be silent any longer!"

I woke up soon afterward with a 3-foot trail of saliva

hanging out of my mouth. (Sllllurrrp!)
I can't begin to tell you how embarassed I was -
It made me feel so sub-human.
(Jed: "You ripped me off, baby!")

The echoes of the vision still are present within my brain.

(Jed: "You violated my copyright protections, baby!
you broke the code!")

Enigmatic word, brain -

Let's say it one more time, for added emphasis -
(Brain)

(Jeff: "Tonight, a special edition of Cops!

featuring copyright violators!
They're loadin' them up, rakin' em in,
and packin' them into the cells!
Tune in to Cops, for some extra crime fighting!")
(Shut up!)

Anyway, when you say, "brain,"

Say it like you mean it!
(Ruby: "Hey, you just ripped off me!")

Shameless plundering of other people's brains

other people's ideas,
other people's lifestyles
(Oh, what a giveaway!)

A man who adapts to the crowd around him

(Well, they say there's safety in the right plumage!)

But, back to my brain, which is suffering from terminal cancer of creativity.

(Jeff: "Blood Boy? Blood Boy?!")
(Yeah?)
(Jeff: "I can help, Mike. Blood Boy, do you want to talk about it?")

My brain is a supercharged mass of grey matter,
Downloading its rantings from the pen to the page.

(Huh-huh, he said "load.")

(Jeff: "Blood Boy! Don't make me whip you now!")

This pen - This special poetry-writing pen -

(I lost the pencil long ago.)
This pen that is charged with karmic energy...
(Jeff: "Comic energy? Blood Boy, do you have to call the suicide hotline?")

Yeah, I think I know the number.

I got it off of MTV News
during the Nirvana Marathon.

"This is Kurt Loder for MTV News..."
(Huh-huh, he said "Load" again...)
"...and Kurt Cobain is still dead.
We just thought we'd make that clear one more time,
just in case anyone missed it."
(2-14-95 - This one's for Denver: "Fuck you, Kurt,
Fuck you, asshole!")

Yeah, sure.

20 years from now, when every oldies station
is playing Nirvana songs,
Somewhere, in some coffee house,
Someone's gonna finally realize it, and break down
"Aaahhhh!  I can't believe he's gone!"

Ah, wait a minute!  This isn't making sense anymore.
And I can't seem to end the damn thing!
I'll let you know when I've found it out.
Magic poetry writing pen, take me away!

To Be Continued!
(Thanks to: Angelique, Jed, Jeff, Doug, ???)

1994.5.31

Go Back

main   anime   computers   video games   recreations   words & pictures   features
shop!
Michael A. Fontes|raider3@anime.net|last: Nov. 23, 1999
Unless otherwise indicated, all page content © 1996-1999 Michael A. Fontes/Studio Calico/Final Raider3 Project.
All Rights Reserved. Legal Notice.