Quick & Ugly Links Home / Illustrations / Parody / Tutorial / Plus / Personal / Contact / Link Royalty on Weed! MIRKWOOD , December 28 - Prince Legolas of Mirkwood and Heir Aragorn of Numenor from the Fellowship of the Ring were caught smoking weed in Lothlorien last night. The Prince , age 2934 , was found stoned and babbling about "Pink Spotted Orcs" in a deserted flet on the outskirts of Lorien together with a very high High King Aragorn, son of Arathorn, age 67. They were reprimended by Haldir's scout troupes and handed over to the Middle Earth Weed Regulation Organization ( MEWRO ) for further action. "Legsie was such a nice boy, i am so shocked to find out that he's been smoking weed", says Frodo Baggins from The Shire as he mournfully shakes his head. "Terrible !" says Gandalf. "Young un's these days are absolutely devoid of morals !" , says the wizened wizard. "He should be sent to drug rehabilitation centers to see what it's like for drug addicts , like what they did to that Harry boy !!" Other members of the Fellowship were more understanding . "Peer pressure was very strong in the Fellowship. Everyone was calling Legolas a 'fruit' and 'faggot' for not smoking , especially Aragorn and Boromir. I am not surprised he finally gave in to their tauntings" , says Meriadoc Brandybuck. "These days smoking and sex is very common for teenagers - and Legsie has never done any of that. You could say he lived under his daddy's iron grip. You should have seen his reaction when we showed him Playelf !", attests Peregrin Took. But Boromir , Steward of Gondor has something else to say : "It was Aragorn. The guy keeps picking on Legolas for being so clean and naive. He showed Legsie all his porn magazines and the poor boy was quite traumatized after that. Aragorn should be reprimended , not Legolas ! The poor thing is already so confused after his mother died. This is just one of the stages in a teenager's life to deal with the pressure of royalty. Locking him up will only make him more rebellious , teenagers need understanding ! " So how does King Thranduil , Lord of Mirkwood , feel about his son's misdoings ? "I am grieving. I am horrified. He was such a nice boy at home , always practicing his archery and poetry unlike the other elves who would go clubbing and get drunk at my parties. I was so proud of him !" Lord Elrond from Rivendell also comments : " Thranduil was too strict on him i think, so being out in the big world all of a sudden with 8 other testosterone charged males was too much for him. It is mistake on my part, i thought a field trip would do him good but he's obviously too naive for this ." Meanwhile, the rest of Middle Earth worries about the outcome of the Quest on which the Fellowship is on. " The world needs saving and these tramps are getting stoned !! We're doomed !" shrieks one hobbit. "Royalty is outdated , democracy is more fit for the third age. They do nothing but get stoned on our taxpayer's money!!" shouts the party of Dwarfs lined up in front of Lonely Mountain trail. "First it was Thranduil's tramping with that Camillaviel person , now this ! Royalty is doomed !" chants the elves of Mirkwood. Quick & Ugly Links Home / Illustrations / Parody / Tutorial / Plus / Personal / Contact / Link All images here butchered by Laine from images sourced from all over the net and my own personal screengrabs. If you would like credit , hurl me a brick. Don't own any LOTR characters as much as i would like to ; Please dun sue , i'm a poor bastard with no life .Please contact Laine if you would like to use these images for any purpose other than personal ,i'm just curious.